I've Seen You On Tinder

from Closing The Gap by Vinnie Whitehead



Amy doesn’t why she’s giving this a try
but she’s looking pretty fly searching for the perfect guy.
Becky’s 26 and she’s a stylist
She wakes up in the morning and she needs a coffee fix
One look at Claire and she’ll give you a scare
She’s got lust in her eyes and a hypnotising stare.
Dianne is only looking for a hunky kind of man
who likes to wear a vest and a fake tan.
Elaine has got the body that’ll drive you insane
she likes eating out and drinking champagne.
If you match with Faye and you just say hey
when she gets your message she’ll un match you straight away.
Gemma loves gin and she loves traveling
she's got a picture on a camel and a picture in the gym.
Hannah does want to see no drugged up tigers
and she hasn’t got no time for cheats and liars.
Isabelle’s six foot she says no short guys please
well she's looking kind of sexy but I bet she's a tease.
Jenny’s kids are her world and her youngest is 1
So if you don’t like kids you can jog on.
Kelly signed up for a second time
and she’s hoping that she’ll find her partner in crime.
Leanne is 28 and she's looking to date
she believes in unicorns, fairies and fate.
Michelle says ask and you will find out
every photo has a snapchat filter and silly pout.
Nancy’s been away but she's back in town
she wants to start a family and try to settle down.
Olive doesn’t want to see a picture of your dick
She's got more self respect because she’s a classy chick.
Peggy likes adventures and the great outdoors
she likes a good movie but she's never seen star wars.
Queeny is transgender if that doesn’t bother you
she’d like to hook up and she can keep a secret too.
Rebecca’s got netflix and she likes to drink wine
she’s not after anything serious she just wants a good time.
Sarah owns her own house, eyebrows and car
she likes to go to festivals she’s learning guitar.
Can you spot Tracy in the picture with her friends
she has a 9 to 5 she's living for the weekends.
Ursula says she's a curvy girl and proud
when she has too much to drink she can be a little loud.
Vicky’s done tough mudder and she's ran some marathons
she likes to take a walk in the park but she's afraid of swans.
Wendy is the most stunning girl you've ever seen
she likes to work out and she's a beauty queen.
I’ve checked out all the girls from A to X,Y,Z
now I’ll play the waiting game and see who will match with me.


from Closing The Gap, released September 4, 2017


all rights reserved


If you like Vinnie Whitehead, you may also like: